The California Courts’ ‘Britney Standard’

Britney SpearsUngh!  (Neanderthal grunt),

When I wrote my first post for Lyrster a mere two months back, I implored the likes of Britney, Rihanna and Gaga not to let me down and to do something bonkers; to give me something wild and woolly to write about.  Rihanna and Gaga did not disappoint but Britney was a Poopin’ Pollyanna.  A 50′s song, ‘Cindy, oh Cindy’ comes to mind, slightly modified:–

 

Britney, oh Britney,

Britney don’t let me down;

Do something whacko soon,

But don’t be meltin’ down!

 

Well, the girl’s in the news.  Today’s breaking news is about religious fundamentalism coming to America (with an assist from Rick Santorum), courtesy of Britney – and the poor girl hasn’t even done anything!  These wimminfolk can’t be trusted to mind themselves and must be under control and dominion of daddy or husband, eh? . . . preferably *both*!  So the girl’s father and fiance have decided to ask the California courts (psst! it’s said that it’s a done deal) that Britney be placed under their joint custody and stewardship.

Hmm . . . perhaps that’s not such a bad idea after all.  Don’t you think that placing Gaga, Rihanna and other out-of-control females under male control would be a good idea?  That it would have salutary effects on society as a whole?  Perhaps Britney’s papa, lover-boy, and the California courts are on the right track after all!

Let’s compare and contrast with two other newsworthy music-biz females.  Just *look* at what that shameless wench Nicki Minaj was wearing at her weekend Times Square show – legs all exposed like that – tsk, tsk.  If she were under control of a thou-shalt-obey type of husband, you don’t think she’d be getting away with that kind of (over-)exposure, do you?  And as for Fiona Apple; that bad girl’s just announced that she’ll be travelling across the length and breadth of America, from New York to Hollywood, for a month-and-a-half – all by herself!  No papa!  No chaperone!  Can we allow this to happen or will the California Courts’ ‘Britney Standard’ be upheld?

Come on California Courts, do your thing!  Put these wild women under control of their menfolk!

Fundamentalistically Yours,

Shane