Crazy-Sex Friday! (That’s what Fridays are for)

Lady GagaHowdy out there,

Thanks, Gaga – you’ve made a slow news day into a kooky (or ‘gaga’) news day!

Lady Gaga’s prurience and her preoccupation with same-gender sexuality has caused an upwelling of protest in, no, not Saudi Arabia or Iran, but, South Korea, of all places.  The protestors’ term for the prurience and preoccupation: “pornography” and “homosexuality.”  These protestors belong to several Christian groups in a country with a devoted and faithful Evangelical Protestant demographic numbering around twelve million.  ‘The Christian Council of Korea’ does not want Gaga’s ‘homosexual’ attitudes polluting Korean culture.  Don’t blame the Koreans, the Christians, or anyone else – Gaga could generate controversy in Antarctica!

Perfect transition to Queen and Freddy Mercury, poster boys of the, er, shall we say ‘alternative lifestyle’.  Offbeat actor Sacha Baron Cohen decided that he wants to play Mercury in a biopic and took his idea to Brit-American producer Graham King.  King jumped at the chance to ‘do’ Queen and the movie is on!  Freddie Mercury was a larger-than-life character who was ‘out there’ so it will be interesting to see what angle the script will take on this polarizing singer.

To close out this sex-oriented blog post, we go to One Direction’s Harry Styles and The Bieb.

The Bieb has announced that he ain’t gonna marry Selena anytime soon and says he wants to “have a family” “in ten years.”  That gives some hope for all the dreamy-eyed Beliebers out there.  Any of you girls think you can displace Selena by 2022?

Young Master Styles has no interest in marriage; instead he has expressed his desire to bed a duo of Kates – Moss and Winslet – plus Ms. ‘Binbag’ Jolie.  There’s perhaps a tiny chance Master Styles may make one score but the hat-trick of his dreams?  Million-to-one odds!

TGIF,

Shane

Midweek Medley with Lionel Richie

Lionel Richie“Hello,” did you stumble across this by chance, or was “it me you’re looking for?”

It’s midweek, and it’s another medley: Mad-onna, Gaga, and Lionel Richie on the menu.

Remember, you heard it here first!  A week or two back didn’t I give the thumbs down to Mad-onna, our ‘Granny Gone Wild’, didn’t I predict that ‘MDNA’ was same ole, same ole, and didn’t I question Billboard’s integrity in pushing it?  Well, here are some choice quotes from Yahoo Music News about ‘MDNA’:–

“. . . some music critics haven’t exactly been blown away despite Madonna recruiting a bevy of top dance music producers . . . . Randall Roberts of the Los Angeles Times gave the album two out of four stars, saying it doesn’t ‘offer much in the way of innovation,’ and that the iconic singer had ‘fallen behind’ . . . . Alexis Petridis of British newspaper The Guardian, gave the album three out of five stars, calling it ‘business as usual’ for the pop star. . . . Nitsuh Abebe of New York Magazine said ‘a lot of the music here feels hollow and strained’ . . . .”

You see, very little about Mad-onna was ever about music; much of it was about sexual self-exploitation, razzle-dazzle, sensationalism and controversy, and now, finally, it looks like a few people are catching on to it.

Another artiste who gets 9/10 on sensationalism and controversy is Lady Gaga!  But she’s got freshness and new ideas on her side.  And we can hardly be hard on her today because . . . it’s her birthday!  Anyone up for singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to birthday girl?  Considering that half-a-century back the bleach-blonde icon of that age famously sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to the then-president (Marilyn Monroe to JFK), could a long-overdue favour be returned?  Perhaps musical Prez Barrack Obama will sing Happy Birthday to the Gaga One!

And now to Tuskegee.  “What’s ‘Tuskegee’?” you ask.  We know it’s a town but what’s it to this blog?  The name of Lionel Richie’s new album, that’s what.  So now you ask, “Why ‘Tuskegee’?”  That’s because the smooth R&B stylist of the 80s is paying homage to his childhood hometown and is marking the genre of his album – Country.  Lionel Richie, not exactly new to country, has collaborated with several country stars on his old songs (including a few classics).  Duets on ‘Hello’, ‘Endless Love’, and ‘Sail On’ with singers like Shania Twain, Willie Nelson and Kenny Chesney promise to be a tasty treat that a large cross-section of music-lovers may groove to . . . groove to ‘all night long’ . . . .

Yours “Truly”, Yours “Forever”,

Shane

Go Gaga, Go … Gaga Be Good!

Greetings,

A couple of hours back I read that The Gaga One has surpassed twenty million followers on Twitter.  I said to myself “Go, Gaga Go, Go!” – and ended up writing a lyric.  Just sing it to Chuck Berry’s rock ‘n’ roll classic Johnny B. Goode – the metre, stresses and all will come out just fine.

(BTW yours truly had the unforgettable pleasure of experiencing Chuck Berry many years back in Washington D.C. at ‘Fight Night – Fight for Children’ – and he was still awesome, really awesome.)
————————————

 

Gaga Be Good

Copyright © Kersasp ‘Kersie’ Shekhdar and Lyrster.com 2012, All Rights Reserved

 

Twenty-few years back there flew a screw-loose stork,
Dropped a baby bundle on a shack in New York;
Became a kooky gal who could never be good,
She spent a lot of time in the big bad ‘hood;
She never ever learned to strum a guitar lick,
But she did have a voice that was rich and so thick;

Go go
Go Gaga go
Go
Go Gaga go
Go
Go Gaga go
Go
Go Gaga go
Go
Gaga be good.

She used to sing and scream until the clock struck late,
Wail and yowl her heart out at that Village Gate,
All the record execs see’d her shakin’ on stage,
She’d make ‘em feel that they were but half of their age!
The guys passing by oh they would stop and stare,
Say: “What a sexy chick, I wanna see her bare!”

Go go
Go Gaga go
Go
Go Gaga go
Go
Go Gaga go
Go
Go Gaga go
Go
Gaga be good.

Her mommy told her “Lissen to me, crazy critter,
You will be the leader on that website, Twitter,
Twenty million people – now that’s quite a crowd –
Will see your every tweet, they’ll read it out loud;
Surely someday ev’ry boy will have you in sight,
And cry, ‘My Gaga be nude – tonight!’”

Go go
Go Gaga go
Go
Go Gaga go
Go
Go Gaga go
Go
Go Gaga go
Go
Gaga be good.

————————————
Gaga be good?  Nah – ain’t never gonna happen!

Creatively Yours,

Shane

Thursday’s bits and pieces blog

Hello Music Lovers,

It’s a bits and pieces blog today on a relatively uneventful day in the music biz.

You wouldn’t think that Lady Gaga and Harvard go together but you’d be wrong.  The singer and the big ‘O’ went to Harvard and launched a new touchy-feely foundation.  Enough of the flip remarks.  Gaga wants to promote kindness and compassion and stamp out bullying and meanness.  Her goals are laudable.  However, one must wonder why such a setup had to be inaugurated at Harvard?  Inner-city schools infested with vice could use Gaga’s foundation.  Let’s hope that this new foundation does its work where its needed most.

The headphones people – that’s Sennheiser of course – are looking to blow in your eardrums at Austin, Texas between 14 and 16 March.  They’ve lined up no less than 33 bands to perform over those three dates, eleven per day.  The concerthon is in conjunction with Paste Magazine and is to be held at The Stages on Sixth.  Sennheiser can give you head-sets, but to attend this killer concert, you need hard guts!

Adele set an iTunes first when her album 21 went double platinum on the online music store.  What with the momentum she has on Billboard’s charts, she just may set a record on it too but the Billboard mention surely belongs to the artiste in no. 2 position: Whitney Houston!  Her GH album retains its hold on ‘place’ position.  Now we all know that Adele has two albums (21 and 19) in the Top Ten – to be expected.  But who’s got three?  Whitney!  Besides GH, which is in its third week, today “Whitney Houston” and “The Bodyguard OST” have landed in the Top Ten.

There’s been another death in the music family.  Davy Jones, lead singer of The Monkees, passed away in Florida from a heart attack.  The Monkees, a television staple, were one of the British boy group bands that had been spawned by Beatlemania.  This British ‘Bubble Gum’ band charted a few hits like “I’m a Believer” back in the 60s.

RIP, Davy.

Shane

 

Titillating Tuesday with Lady Gaga ‘n’ Rihanna!

Hi you goss hounds!

On Friday the 17th I made a heartfelt plea: “Looking ahead to next week, Britney, Gaga, and Madamadonna, where are you? We need your antics to fill these blog posts! Puh-leez run out to your car in your undies (or knickers, as we call ‘em back in jolly old England), say something wacko or otherwise spice things up.”   Thankyou-thankyou-thankyou Lady Gaga ‘n’ Rihanna for answering our prayers!

Gaga has lived up to her name! (So what’s new?) —She has claimed demoniacal possession!

“A devil force was trying to take hold of me,” Gaga enlightens us.  “The Devil is trying to take me . . . . I’m a good girl!”  OK now – the part about the Devil getting a crush on Gaga is quite probable – we agree.  But that part about her being a “good girl,” hmm, now that’s debatable . . . .

Now instead of hiring a Catholic priest, Gaga has gone rather a different route.  Enter The Exorcist in the form of none other than that all-purpose huckster – er, servitor – to the stars, the inimitable Deepak Chopra.  Does all this mean that Gaga’s head will do a 180-degree turn, she’ll spit green goo, and that Chopra will eventually leap out of a window?  Stay tuned to this blog . . .

OMG reports on that evergreen topic of Rihanna and her pins, saying that she “showed off some serious leg” in a gown that was slit to the hip.  That report seems faulty to us on two major points.  (1) Rihanna wasn’t showing just “some” leg, it was more like all of one leg.  (2)  Nothing about the leg seems “serious” or sober to me; rather, it seemed inviting, if anything.  This sort of inaccuracy in news reporting is deplorable.  In any event it’s only a matter of time before the girl gets arrested somewhere or the other (on charges of public indecency).

OMG also implied that Rihanna is again involved with Chris Brown.  Bad match.  Matchmaker Shane Kendall’s ideal couple: Rihanna and Austin Powers . . . .

Tit-illatingly Yours,

Shane

 

This is Shane at Lyrster calling all Music Fans!

New blogHey y’all!

This is Shane Kendall calling in from the wildest, woolliest port city in the world.  Welcome to Lyrster.com – and remember to bookmark us!  Here at Lyrster we’re your one-stop music news and goss shop.  No matter what you like, we’ve got something for you.

Well, all’s quiet on the Britney front . . . but if a wheel comes off Britney’s wagon again, we’ll cover it for you.  (We know that you’re secretly waitin’ for Britney’s wagon to lose a wheel – ’fess up, yer prayin’ for it, ain’t ya?)

And if Lady Gaga says any more ‘gaga’ things about sexuality and riles someone or the other, we’ll give you our two cents worth.  And if she decides to promote herself to ‘Dame Kooky’, we’ll tell you!

Britney and Gaga not your style?  You want the real deals?

Well then, when BMG RCA release their umpteenth outtake/breakdown/false-start of an Elvis session in special collector’s packaging, we’ll inform you.  (We won’t tell you when some looky-loo spots The King on The Strip in Vegas – that happens every night!)

I also got one Gabriel (yup, that one) as my confidant; he’s promised to tell me if Frank, Sammy, and Dean get politically incorrect and cut loose in that Cabin in the Sky, just like they used to at the Villa Venice in their glory years when they were with us.

You one of dem lounge lizards?  Baby, ain’t I got you covered—

Awright, so when Polydor releases the millionth album recorded by that evergreen German music-machine, James Last (‘Hansie’), Lyrster will be on hand to tell you about it.  In the meantime check out his thrilling version of Around the World and see what you think.

Talk about Around the World, one Anunzio Paolo Mantovani recorded a concert hall version (which you may want to compare with Hansie’s version).  If Monty’s family relents and decides to release a few arrangements scored for a thousand strings plus a variety of woodwinds, bells, even vibraphone and whatnot, we’ll announce it.

Tell us what you like – is it Bossa Nova from Brazil or Rachmaninov from Russia?  We’ll try to cater to every taste!

Till then,

Shane